


i can't help but stare

by greendove



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Cheating, F/F, Smut, at least sooyoung is, im sorry :/, it's not that bad tho, they're in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:00:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26901025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greendove/pseuds/greendove
Summary: “Did you think of me?”“I did.”“Even when she fucked you?”
Relationships: Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Jo Haseul
Comments: 2
Kudos: 49





	i can't help but stare

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first time i write yves in an asshole-lish way cuz i just don't vibe with that...  
>   
> ...but i wanted to try something different so here it is.
> 
> (if u cheat i hate you)

Sooyoung knows what she’s doing is wrong. It stings her chest, burns her skin, threatens to turn her stomach upside down; it’s a nightmare she can’t- _doesn’t_ want to wake up from. 

Because as much as it burns and stings and all those things she so cynically claims to feel, when she’s with her, it just doesn’t matter at all. When Haseul is staring at her with those beautiful, shining eyes, clinging to her arm, begging her not to stop, the nightmare becomes heaven.

-

_“I called you all night, where the fuck were you?!”_

_“I was busy.”_

_“It’s 3 am Sooyoung, you think I’m stupid?”_

_“I met with a friend.”  
_

_-_

Sooyoung does try. The same effort she puts on being the best girlfriend in her three-year relationship, she puts on hiding the very same thing that makes her the worst. Her phone is turned off, her car is parked nowhere near the building, and as if the stars aligned, she didn’t have to come up with a credible excuse today due to her partner staying late at work. 

It’s perfect… if she excludes the cheating, the lying and the guilt that won’t leave her for the rest of her life.

But who the fuck cares? Certainly not Sooyoung.

As soon as Sooyoung enters the big, colorful apartment, Haseul jumps into her arms. She tried making it a surprise, opening the main door as quietly as possible, but she should’ve known that’s impossible with the lively woman. 

“I missed you.” Oh how those words burn her every time she hears them. 

She abstains herself from responding, not because she doesn’t share the feeling but because there’s much better ways to show her.

Sooyoung easily lifts her up and squeezes her thighs in a way she knows tickles her, that elicits a giggly squeal that marks the beginning of their own little bubble; where there are no consequences and they are just two girls in love who couldn’t confess their feelings at the right time.

-

_“Haseul? Your friend from high school?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“What were you doing with her?”_

-

If Sooyoung were to be honest with her feelings, she would acknowledge it’s more than just sex, more than just marking this innocent, oblivious and so full of love woman. But she’s not honest, she’s not brave enough to say what’s in her heart; she’s a liar with everyone around her, including herself. 

But even the greatest liars make mistakes, and Sooyoung, while good at it, is far from the best. Her words keep lying but everything else is an open book to whoever reads her for more than a few seconds. 

“Are you okay?” Haseul manages to pull back from the kisses.

Her concerned eyes only make her want to kiss her more until her lips dry, bleed, fall, whatever comes first. But knowing Haseul for almost all her life (not counting that period after college where they didn’t even know where the other lived), there’s no way she can swipe her concern under the rug without them stopping entirely. 

“Yeah,” so she lies. What’s a lie more going to do?

She doesn’t know if it was because she was convincing enough, or because Haseul is visibly more _desperate_ than other days, but Haseul doesn’t wait for more confirmation like she usually does, instead, she immediately locks their lips and pushes herself more into her, making Sooyoung slam against a wall. Sooyoung’s grip only gets rougher, needing the strength to hold an enthusiastic Haseul in place. 

The moan that came from Haseul’s mouth was all the motivation she needed to find the nearest surface to do what she had been craving for a little more than a week. That leads them to Haseul’s dining table, which conveniently, is high enough for a comfortable position.

Sooyoung stops the sloppy kisses to stare at Haseul and she looks so… fuckable. Parted lips, smudged lipstick, rising chest. She’s going to be the end of her. 

She doesn’t want to waste more of their limited time, so she goes straight to her neck, softly nibbling the skin. Haseul gets in the same state and rapidly starts unbuttoning her own shirt, fumbling with the buttons. It’s cute as it is hot. Then she bites a little too hard on the skin and the moan echoed right by her ear makes everything cloudy and hot.

Haseul’s shirt is gone, her bra is gone, she’s just laying there, topless on the wooden surface, and Sooyoung can only stare, again, slowing down when she remembers it's not every day, she can have her. They can only see each other once a week; one, because Haseul is almost always busy, two, because, well, Sooyoung is cheating on her partner and as much as it aches no seeing Haseul every day, it’s risky. 

The angsty thoughts get pushed to the back of her head when she focuses on what really is important in the moment: Haseul’s taunting smirk.

“So?” Haseul raises an eyebrow.

Sooyoung lowers herself, hands on the table, and starts slowly kissing her, from her chin to her neck, feeling the woman slightly shiver underneath, until she’s resting her lips in one of her nipples. She stays there, no kissing, no licking, just lips resting on the sensitive skin. She looks up to Haseul, expecting to see her desperate eyes, and that’s exactly what she gets. 

One of Haseul’s hands go to her hair and the other holds onto her arms she doesn’t say anything, but she knows this is her calm way of asking ‘what the fuck are you waiting for?’. Sooyoung then starts licking and she hopes it feels like a _‘nothing’._

-

_“How long has this been going on?”_

_“I don’t-”_

_“Just fucking tell me Sooyoung!”_

_“A few months.”_

-

When Haseul finally starts getting impatient, and pushes her head down, Sooyoung chuckles, remembering that first time they spent together four months ago.

After years of not knowing about each other, they coincidentally met again at a friend of a friend's party (small city, right?), they were bound to spend the night together, either just talking or doing more. They did more. Both of them needing to get past the awkward ‘what happened?’ ‘why’d you left?’ ‘I missed you’ they treated alcohol as their truth potion. Unfortunately (or fortunately), that also pushed out feelings they thought were buried deep in the past. And soon they were in the bathroom, Haseul on the sink and Sooyoung between her legs, feeling too intoxicated by her to even remember her partner at home.

Yeah, maybe she shouldn’t have chuckled. 

She lets Haseul’s hand guide her down, kissing the exposed skin until she reaches the hem of her shorts, slowly unbuttoning the shorts, and bringing them down until they fall to the floor. 

“You’ll have to sit up,” she stares up at Haseul, and she nods, doing what she was told. 

Sooyoung doesn’t _need_ her to sit up but eating her out is more fun when she has nothing to hold on to but her hair or shoulders. 

“Fuck…” Haseul grips her shoulder when she finally touches her where she needs her the most, feeling her shiver slightly even though there’s still fabric between them. 

Sooyoung likes to take her time when it comes to pleasing Haseul this way; she likes the tugs on her hair, the nails digging on her shoulders, the desperate cries, looking up at her and seeing her eyes shut down. But what she likes the most, what she _adores,_ is when Haseul can’t take it anymore and begs for it.

And after few minutes of playing with her, making her feel like she’s giving her enough, Sooyoung thinks it won’t take long before-

“Faster,” Haseul breathes out.

Sooyoung turns to look up at her, getting herself closer to the edge of the table, knowing the best is about to happen. 

“Could you-” it starts as a breathless question, innocent almost, “use your fingers.”

But ends up as an order. 

She doesn’t stop the rapid motions on her clit, moving _just_ the right way to tip her on the edge. That’s when her fingers come. Feeling the short nails dig into her shoulders (that’d surely leave marks) when she slowly sinks into her. The sound of it all is so sinful, she’s sure if anyone were to pass outside the door and pay attention, they surely would hear not only the soft moans but the obscene sounds.

For a brief second she pictures her partner passing by, opening the door and finding her on her knees, eyes closed, face buried between Haseul’s legs, fingers sinking deep into her, hair being pulled as the woman grinds against her mouth, making a mess of her face. 

The fucking rush she gets from it!

Shame comes later.

Then it happens, as Haseul chants her name mixed with soft spoken curses, she lets a beautiful, loud, throaty moan that makes every single little hair in her body rise. 

Sooyoung was so lost that she forgot to look at her when she came, but the aftermath is equally pleasing. She slowly pulls out of her, giving wet, sloppy kisses from her thighs, to her stomach, until she reaches her neck. 

“That was…” Haseul lets out a long sigh as she rests her forehead against her, feeling the light sweat drops, “so fucking hot.” 

They both giggle into the kiss Haseul pulls them in, the slickness all over Sooyoung’s mouth making it slippery and messy, smearing the sour yet also sweet taste all over their lips.

“I taste good,” Haseul hums against her before she slowly licks her own lips.

Sooyoung feels two sneaky legs entrap her, pulling her into the naked skin. Her clothes start to feel so annoyingly in the way.

“Bet I can make you moan louder.” 

-

_“Did you think of me?”_

_“I did.”_

_“Even when she fucked you?”_

-

There’s nothing else on her mind but Haseul. Everything is about her; how she playfully carried her to the bed, how she made her undress before her, the slow lips on her own, the hair falling on her face, the fingers moving so deliciously inside of her. 

“Tell me how it feels,” she curves her fingers inside, “please.” 

A moan escapes her mouth when she catches a glimpse of a smirk from the woman on top, she immediately shuts her eyes, feeling too overwhelmed. The request sounds so soft and full of tenderness but feels nothing like that, the slowly moving fingers already pushing impatient sounds out of her.

“It’s good,” she breathes out, eyes still closed, “really good.” 

She feels Haseul start to slowly move down, her not-so-short hair tickling her skin, her collarbones, her neck until she reaches her breasts. The anticipation of a skillful tongue on her and the fingers that just keep reaching the right spot, drives her insane, fogging her thoughts even more.

“Sooyoung…” God! She loves the way her name rolls out of her mouth so effortlessly, it feels right. She feels herself pulsing against slender fingers and hears Haseul softly giggle. She doesn’t need to look down to know Haseul is wearing a proud smile.

“You want me to go down?” Haseul hotly whispers in between the chaste kisses she’s smearing all over her breasts. 

“No! Just… stay here,” 

She bolts her head up, looking down at Haseul to ensure she doesn’t move and stop what’s already tipping her to the edge. Yes, Sooyoung is already on the verge of coming just from the slow-paced fingers inside her and the gentle kisses, and Haseul is the only one to blame for that. Usually, she isn’t this _easy_ but the woman… she just makes her this way. When she’s with Haseul, everything’s different, she’s irrational, irresponsible and uncared for other people’s feelings, so it’s not a surprise when her body reacts like that.

The chaste kisses turn desperate, the slow movements gradually turn faster and the hotness growing in her starts getting unbearable. Her free hands fly to the soft hair, pulling her off her breasts and bringing her to her needy lips.

“Look at me,” Haseul commands before biting too hard on her lower lip.

She lets out a cry, feeling the hotness rush through all her nerves from her toes to her hands gripping soft hair. She struggles to keep her eyes on the lust darkened eyes and gives up on it, letting her head fall back to the bed. But not even a second after a swift hand comes to her chin, making her stare deeply into her eyes.

  
  
  


_“Do you love her?”_

_“I don’t, it was a mistake.”_

  
  
  


Sooyoung glances at the digital clock on the wall, and guilt starts creeping up on her. 

1 am. She was supposed to be back by 11 pm.

She should feel like the worst person alive, cutting all communications with her partner, not even bothering to tell a stupid lie about her whereabouts, probably making them think the worst. She would feel bad, but she _can’t_. Not when Haseul is sleeping so soundly on her chest, calming her mind, easing all remorse that even dares to appear.

She could also leave right now, tell Haseul some excuse about having work really early in the morning and get home in less than 30 minutes. But she knows she already fucked up and a few hours won’t make much difference, so she might as well stay for a while.

It’s not that she’s a bad person, it’s just that she’s deeply in love with Haseul that she doesn’t care about anything or anyone else.

**Author's Note:**

> that end is kinda cliché lol but it was fun.  
> i made this in like a day so there's probably some mistakes.
> 
> ps. can bbc release the preorders jfc.


End file.
